If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
4 words: hood of his car
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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