I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
