yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
