The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i just google imaged poop.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
If I die, sorry about rent.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize