We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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