Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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