You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
