No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
