Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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