STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just high enough for therapy.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
