He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
