There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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