I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
