Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
