I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
