how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
