you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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