you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
