scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
