Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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You. Win. At. Life.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize