Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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