I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
