I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Randomize
