there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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