So drunk, too bad you don't want this
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
