Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
