i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
