Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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