That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Randomize
