Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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