BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
