All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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