So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
