return my video game
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
