idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
