I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I am naked and annoyed.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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