Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
