yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Randomize
