mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
