no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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