Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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