people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
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