OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
