Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
