I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
