I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
