fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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