i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were destined to go to rehab together
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
