i permit you to call me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
