he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
