ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
