my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
