You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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