i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
