Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
