I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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