I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
