so explain again why im purple
no
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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