I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize