It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
