If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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