That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
