Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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