Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
