just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Randomize