it was like his penis was on wheels.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Randomize
