I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize