i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize