brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
