My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
