I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
