Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
