Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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