I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
