check it out our google latitudes are spooning
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize