Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Randomize
