meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
