I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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